:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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