there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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