We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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