So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
