Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
