careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
