There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize