I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
