How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
