i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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