now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
