Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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