gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Let's paint friendship bongs
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
