Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
