So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
