but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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