my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize