i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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