um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
pray to the hookup gods
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize