He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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