S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
