38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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