so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
