Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
