bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
