direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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