marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is your mom at the bar?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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