Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize