i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
