You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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