we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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