New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
