I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
