I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
