how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
