I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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