the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
