Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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