Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
