This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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