WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
