i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
