thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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