My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
