So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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