I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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