Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
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