i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
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