JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
