Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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