kristin has been a bad kristin
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
