I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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