Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I had to cum in my sink.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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