No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
