Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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