Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Everyone says I win the strip club
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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