when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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