If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
