WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
