she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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