yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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