Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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