Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Holy sore nipples Batman
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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