i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
