my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize