Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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