I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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