i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I would fuck him just for his dog
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
